1. Be respectful of others' space. Wear deodorant*.
Do not, under any circumstances, think that you're gonna score points with anyone if you're lax on the personal hygiene front. There is nothing worse than having an absolutely unreal time losing oneself on the dancefloor to some some totally slamming track, with all your friends, or even better, a lover, and then having some idiot dance nearby, flailing arms in the air, exposing the rest of us to an olfactory barrage of bad B.O. No one wants to breath your toxic, bacteria-laden armpit fumes, ok?
It is not cool to go out on Friday and still be in the same outfit on Sunday, no matter how many drugs you've had, because you probably stink, and you should go home instead of that staying at that recovery party getting it down amongst all the clean folk. And hey man, if you're a hippie, and you think that it's cool cos it's natural - well it isn't. I thought hippies were into respecting the environment. Well, hello, the dancefloor IS my environment. So kindly fuck off and have a shower.
Now onto something for the weekend...
This is my idea of slamming: Latin Boogie by Joshua
If you're ready for a little Latin Boogie of your own, I'll be on @ DROPP between 9 - 11 pm, Saturday night March 5, and entry is free but you gotta look good to get in.
You can hear House music all night long on Saturday nights @ DROPP, Candy Bar, 168 Greville St, Prahran.
* Find deodorants without the aluminium, and you'll be doing yourself a big favour. High levels of this element are found in sufferers of Alzheimers & Parkinson's Disease, and I believe it's also why the incidence of breast cancer is so high these days. Think about it, if you're spraying yourself with that crap, plus eating and drinking out of alumium cans, foil take-away containers and cooking with foil, day in day out, how does your body get rid of it all? It doesn't. It just accumulates in your body and your brain, and before you know it, you're Michael J Fox (yeah the guy sponsored by Pepsi). He was drinking cans of the diet version every day which is even worse because it also has aspartame in it (eek). I use organic Miracle Soap products, and spray a Thai deodorant crystal with their Neutraliser. It works a treat, and is very cheap in the long run.
Here here!
ReplyDeleteDancefloor Etiquette Tip # 2"Amyl-Offenders"Same goes for bottles of amyl! If you keep dropping your drink or shaking coz ya've had WAY too much coke/speed/whatever maybe it's time to pass on the bottle for a couple of hours. Or pass it to Miss Vic!
There is nothing worse than DJing when some asshole has spilt amyl on the dancefloor! Even at the Peel! Do you know how many washes it takes to get that stench out?
Take heed amyl-offenders. God said so... And he's pretty ticked, offering a Police style titty bashing to any takersConsider your braincells warned :)
OMG, I cannot thank you enough for your dancefllor etiquette tip, but the link to the message from God was well, beyond the call of duty.. and how true, how true.
ReplyDeleteYes, we all know a few like this don't we? Can't get enough of the bottle, dancing with it permanently affixed to their noses and occassionally dropping it while passing to someone else. Yes you dirty disco monsters we know who you are. It's as plain to see as all the amyl scabs around your nostrils! Be gone, all of you.(except for Vic, who could never be sent to hell, no matter how much she tried)!
Indeed, the only place you'll actually get away with it is a shantytown tucked away on Melbourne's city fringe.
ReplyDeleteThe proprietors summon the bottle (well the short one anyway) and it is subsequently passed around.
When one spills the said bottle, the offender looks around to realise that the guests are incredibly inebriated and formulates a plan.
The offender subtly exits the room for a tea towel to commence cleaning, only to forget where they spilt it and upon returning, see five people kick their beer on the new rug.
By this time, the said offending bottle is back in circulation.
Although amyl-offending at this establishment is tolerated and often unnoticed, pissing on their furniture is not.