Choose Love, Especially On Birthdays

Listening: Dr David Wolfe talks raw food and his obssession with raw organic cacao beans. On the Power Hour live.

Mood: A little tired, but happy.

Saturday was the day when our planet was its closest in proximity to Sirius for the year, the day when the Sun finally moved into Leo and, my birthday. While I was still in bed and just waking up, Toby told me to close my eyes and I heard the swoosh of something being brought into the bedroom. Then he said, "How do I play a cd in the computer?" and after a minute or so I heard the sound of Stevie Wonder's voice coming from the speakers. Typically missing the obvious, I lay there thinking, "Oh wow, this must be from the new Stevie Wonder album. Toby must've gotten it for my..." and right on cue, Stevie broke out into the chorus and then of course I realised he was actually singing "Happy Birthday" which made me laugh out loud(no-one's ever done that for me before). Toby told me to open my eyes. I looked over at the desk in my room and sitting in front of it was a brand new leather desk chair, to replace the terribly hard and uncomfortable wooden one I've been sitting and ruining my back on for the last few years.

You know that you've been spending far too much time in front of the computer when your boyfriend decides that instead of lingerie or some chocolates he gets you a chair for your birthday so that you can be even more comfortable while you spend time gazing into the monitor instead of his eyes. That's love. And considering how much time I like to spend in front of the bloddy thing it was a fabulous present. I'm on it right now.

He'd also already gotten us tickets to see the comic Margaret Cho who just happened to be doing her first and only Melbourne shows that night, so I was feeling rather spoiled when he proceeded to hand me another gift - a DVD of the new Dr Who series with a couple of episodes I hadn't seen before. Heaven. We're both so obssessed with the new Dr Who....absolutely the sexiest Doctor and the most cleverly cast assistant ever.

Met up with my family and a couple of my best friends for Yum Cha at the Red Emperor (probably the best Yum Cha in Melbourne) and in between dumplings Mum gave me a watch and a beautiful pair of diamond earrings, much to my delight and surprise. I'd been wishing for a pair of diamond earrings for months (mainly so I could make diamond essences and be able to wear them as well). The single, un-set one I had got sucked up by the vacuum cleaner a couple of months ago (and I've been putting off going through the bag's contents to fish it out, understandably), so it was great.

I usually get a bottle of perfume every year so I was really touched too. My mother has only given me a few pieces of jewellery in my life and sadly, I've lost nearly every single one through carelessness, so it was extra special that she trusted me enough to take care of them.

I got to ask her all those questions that come up on birthdays and got to hear of her pregnacy and my birth. She calls me her "miracle baby" as she didn't didn't know she was carying me until she was in her fifth month (I was born on the 23rd too, 2 + 3 = 5) and she had her periods right up until she found out she was pregnant. She was a slender 22 year old and didn't show at all. When she finally went to the doctor she actually thought she might have a tumour due to feeling this little lump moving around!

Apparantly she started crying from shock when the doctor told her she was pregnant, and because she didn't know how my father was going to react as they'd only been married a short time. When he got home later that day he found the house with all the lights turned off and her, sobbing in a dark corner. Concerned, he bent down beside her and asked, "What on earth is wrong?" to which she replied, "I'm fregnant!" She said my father nearly fell on the floor laughing, imitating her and saying,"you're fregnant!?" (Filipinos always mix up their F's and P's), and after some conferring about this surprising turn of events, it was decided that they'd definitely keep me.

I was born on July 23, 1967 at 11:20 pm in Manila, Philippines. Mum had gone back there as that's where all her family were and she wanted them to be around for her first child. I didn't get put down once for the first 78 hours of my life as the whole family took turns cradling me. Not surprising really as she's from a very close knit family of ten brothers and sisters, as is my father. Being an isolated young Filipina in far North Queensland in the 60's couldn't have been easy.

We came back here 8 months after I was born, and reporters were at the airport when we arrived. I ended up on the front page of the Queensland Telegraph newspaper the next day as it turned out that my birth had forced my father to fight the Australian government to get my mother and I back into the country. They'd refused to recognise their Filipino marriage. As I grew up he loved to tell me that he battled "those bastards" for me and won.

After lunch Toby and I came home and watched the new DVD then got ready and went out to see Margaret. It was like the gay Melbourne illuminati had all gathered in there for a secret meeting. Saw SO many friends in the crowd which was unreal, but Margaret and Bruce Daniels (her best friend and support act) were at the end of a long tour and besides a couple of flashes of genius (her impersonation of Bjork for one), both of us found her show disappointingly one-dimensional in many places, and her new material nowhere near as good as some of her older stuff. I could go on but I won't. There were plenty of people in there that thought she was heaven, and she was, just not enough of the time for us. And really, I wanted some jokes. I was glad that I hadn't had huge expectations prior to the show. Live comedy can be so hit and miss. Still if you want to go on a real rollercoaster ride get her DVD Notorious. It's so so so brilliant.

Halfway through the show I touched my ear to feel the one of the earrings I'd been given earlier and to my utter horror there was nothing hanging prettily off my earlobe like there should've been. I felt around in the dark, hoping I'd find it on my chair or dress - but nothing. After the show we checked the theatre and still not a trace. My heart sank. I couldn't be sure that I'd had both earrings on at the theatre as I hadn't checked sice we left home. All I was sure of was "How could this be happening?" I'd been having the best time for the last 24 hours and I couldn't believe that I could've lost the earring so soon. It was only a few hours earlier that they'd been given to me, and I'd lost one already? It was so awful and so painful and I dreaded having to break the news to Mum. I couldn't bear to disappoint her like that again. Then the negative self-talk really kicked in hard. "You are SO stupid." "You can't have anything nice." and my favourite, "You must have done something bad to have deserved this" and on and on it went.

Toby (god bless him), said encouragingly, "These things can come back," as I poorly tried to fight off the tears, and by the time we were back at Parliament Station to go home my heart had just about broken in two. I really felt for Toby too. He'd made sure that I'd had a fantastic day and he didn't deserve to have me fall apart like that. I felt so guilty, so terribly ashamed that I could have been so careless that I couldn't even look at him in the eye.

While this was happening I knew it wasn't doing anyone any good to be so morose but I thought, "well, let it out girl, and maybe you'll feel better in a couple of days," but as we got closer and closer to home I knew that the probability of ever finding that earring again was getting more slim by the second which just made me feel worse. Then, about 50 metres from home I stopped Toby and said, "Ok, this bit of footpath is the last place it might be," so we could scan a little more closely in the dark.

As we walked closer to home I finally got a grip and decided that in order for me to have any real chance of finding it again I had to change my beliefs. I said to myself, "I didn't deserve to lose that earring. I can have nice things, and I'm NOT stupid. Toby doesn't deserve to have me fall apart. Mum doesn't deserve to have me ring her tomorrow and tell her the bad news. I believe that I can have the earring back." Then I said a little prayer and literally 5 seconds later, Toby, who'd been following behind me, suddenly walked up in front of me, turned around and in his hand was the earring.

I was ecstatic and wouldn't stop kissing him while he stood there looking very pleased with himself, saying,"You see what I can do?" in a teasing kind of way. "You don't know about my eyes," he continued, while they twinkled at me in the night, boasting about his extraordinary vision. It was pretty amazing that he spotted it at all (I must have brushed it out of my ear when I put on my coat at that spot earlier), but what a tremendous lesson. Never wear those earrings ever again! No, just kidding, it's all about what we truly believe.

Inside, we both analysed the last 45 minutes and decided that it was the most intense birthday present and the whole birthday experience was made even better by it. We both examined our belief systems. I realised that my wrong beliefs stemmed from a cellular memory I was still holding onto from when I was 11 and I lost a very valuable ring that my father had given Mum, that I loved so much Mum had let me wear it. I'd always felt terrible about that. It was such a revelation to see the connection, so I did a Healing Codes treatment to heal the memory and now, I never tell myself I'm stupid... Thank God I got that package hey?


I also realised that as we approach 2012 and the closing of the cycle we will probably all have these kinds of experiences at some point, just in case we still haven't gotten what's up. I believe we'll all get a taste of just how much we're in control of that process well before then. We'll be faced with situations that will ask us to see very clearly - how should I respond? With love, or fear? Choose your frequency, simple as that. You will create an experience of life based on whatever you focus on, and you might just see it become manifest like I did, in an instant. And then there won't be any doubt in our minds that we create what we believe. Trust me when I say choose love.


Toby had believed all along that I could have the earring back, on the other hand, and he told me that he also believed he HAD to find it or his life would've been miserable for the next two weeks (poor lamb). Then he said wistfully, changing the subject and reclining on the couch, "I wish there was another Dr Who to watch." and the next thing I know he's grinning, "Yes!" as he remembered it was Saturday and the video player had taped the latest episode of the Doctor's while we were out. I made a pot of tea and we settled in for some more of that more. I love it when there are happy endings.