Dancefloor Etiquette Tip # 3

"I'm blue when I wanna be blue
I'm green when I wanna be mean,
I'm red when I'm out of my head
I'm yellow when I wanna be seen
I'm brown when I wear a frown
I'm gold when I wear a crown
I dance when I wannna get down
Colours make the world go 'round."

"earth is the place" - nathan haines
WAVE Recordings, 2001

If you know the song, hope it reminds you of good times. It's one of my favourite house tracks ever, and the vocals provided by Verna Francis are sublime. I don't think I'll ever tire of it, especially because of the chorus, which I love singing on and off dancefloors...

"Earth is the place that I live,
Love is the space that I give
'Cos I'm a woman
'Cos I'm a Woma-aaa-an!"

Which brings me to Dancefloor Etiquette Tip # 3:
Singing on the Dancefloor - When not to do it.

Let's face it. Most of us have done it at some point, and there's nothing wrong with that. After all, singing is unreal fun and it's good for you! It makes you feel absolutely amazing too sometimes. I wish more people would believe in their voices a bit more and sing. BUT, when it comes to the dancefloor, I think there needs to be a few rules...

1. Don't sing unless you actually know the words.

I used to go out with someone who was incredibly romantic, and he'd often sing along to love songs to me on the dancefloor, which was cool, but he often didn't know the words, and he'd get to those sections and try to fake it, which was bad.

2. Don't sing in someone's face if you have bad breath or worse, bad teeth.

Totally obvious.

3. Don't start singing to the rest of the dancers because you're on the dancefloor alone, unless you're in drag.

We've probably all been ambushed at one time or another - a person you don't know starts to move in a little too close to your personal space, so close that beads of their sweat occassionally flick onto your skin or face (eek!) and they begin to dance with you, singing, trying to engage with you by looking into your eyes while moving and smiling wildly (while you're trying to move away yourself, smiling politely, but thinking, "I've got to get away RIGHT now"). They keep trying to dance with you though, so you grab the nearest friend and hide behind them, or run for the bar. The only thing that can save a situation like this is totally hot looks, but that's a rarity.

4. Don't sing directly in anybody else's ear unless you know what pitch is.

Don't you know you just sound painful?


5. Definitely no soccer-type "woo-woo!" chants, under any circumstances, and just in case you don't know, absolutely NO whistles.

Otherwise, do it well, and be a star!

So, if you feel ready for something fun, this Friday March 18, Wonderland is having its opening night and it looks like it'll be a complete ball. The DJ line-up is great, and with Arlen de Silva, Fernandito and myself in the Wonderland Room, and Baby Lemonade, luscious Matt Thomas and Rollerboy aka the gorgeous Daniel Humphries in the Wonder Bar. It's a great recipe for disco madness of the highest order. Toni Jaye, Vivien St James and Jono Franscisco are all doing shows on the night, and it's gay & straight-friendly, so if it sounds like your thang, make sure you email me as RSVPs are essential for entry. We've also got a special DVD that were giving away to promote the night.
It's happening at Upstairs, Rear Soho lane, Prahran (off Grattan St). Be there.